Tarot
 

  I FEEL SO LOST….

Question:
Dear Becky, Last year I lost my father. Six months down the road my daughter moved out of state to live with her father, and then to finish out the year, I lost my job. I feel so lost right now. I couldn’t wait for 2008 to be over, but I am also unsure what is in store for me in 2009. I am uncertain about the new job I recently started. I am uncertain how much of an effect last year has played on my marriage and my teenage children. I know I was not here for them like I should have been and I just feel like I am not quite where I am supposed to be right now. If you could do a tarot for me to give me some kind of direction where my life is going, I would truly be grateful. Thank you, Teresa.

Answer:
Becky Becktold, Tarot Reader, responds: Dear Teresa, I have shuffled the deck and these are your cards:

Outside Influences - Ten of Pentacles - this is the 'family' card. Teresa, first of all, I am so very sorry for all the loss you have suffered. You will find a sense of security and safety in the very near future. Acknowledgement is the beginning of change. Find yourself a counselor/therapist with whom you can connect so that you can work on building your future. When I went through a divorce from my first husband, my teenage daughters chose to stay with their father so they could finish out their high school years. It tore me up emotionally, but I knew it had to be. Don’t spend a lot of time on past issues, Teresa - what's done is done. Maybe the lesson here is that your teenagers need to develop a stronger relationship with their father. And maybe you need the freedom to work on yourself. Look at it in a positive light. Work on building a better tomorrow. Maybe you could explore the possibility of joining a support group - and if there isn't one, then why not organize one? Pick a good 'self-help' book to keep you and the group on task, and go from there - maybe Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. Even if it's you and one other person, by word of mouth, it will grow. Being able to connect with someone who wants to grow and be a better person will give you the energy and desire you need to move forward into a better spot. Don't be surprised if your family feels a bit threatened by all your change and growth. If your existing family unit is where you choose to stay, then you will need to reassure them that you need the space to grow and change, and that doesn't mean that you are going anywhere. Then again, maybe you'll discover that you need and/or want a change of scenery. Just know that there is always that possibility.

Your Inner State - The Devil - this card speaks about 'blocked' energy - physically, mentally and emotionally. Well, doesn't this card just sum it all up? All I can say here is refer to the 'Outside Influences' card.

Your Physical State - Six of Pentacles - this card speaks about money or information coming in a little at a time. I think this card also refers to your counseling/connecting with someone who can help you move forward, whether it's a counselor, therapist or someone in a support group.

Message from Spirit - Ten of Wands - this card speaks about you carrying a heavy load. Well, duh! My goodness, losing a parent - loss number 1, seeing your daughter leave to go live with her father in another state - loss number 2, losing your job - loss number 3. Honestly, you must have wondered how much more you can take. Teresa, in spite of the heaviness of everything, you have balanced it - and now you are going to learn to balance it well. Keep the faith. I do see 2009 being a good year for you. 2009 is a year of 'new beginnings' and I think you'll discover that you are not the broken-winged little bird that you think you are. The mere fact that you are questioning if you are where you need to be means that you are right where you need to be at this very moment in time.

In Love & Light XoX BB

  DEVIL IN DISGUISE

Question:
Dear Becky, First, let me say how much I enjoy reading your column. I am a Capricorn female involved with a married Virgo male. I never dreamed I'd ever be in this situation but here I am for almost 5 years. I met him (and his wife) through a group of friends. He and I became good friends, sharing things we couldn't with others. My dutiful Virgo married his Taurus wife because she became pregnant. He dearly loves his children and would do anything for them, a trait that makes me love him all the more. His wife seems just as unhappy and has made some embarrassing and disparaging remarks about him to our group.

Over the years, I’ve seen his sadness increase and also his drinking. I'm actually very worried about him. He and his wife split up for a while but being away from his kids was very hard on him. He spends a lot of time with them and during the split she didn't let him see them much. It's the only time I've ever seen tears in his eyes - talking about how much he missed them. Sometimes I think it would be best for everyone if I broke it off and walked away. I really don't want to hurt anyone especially his kids. I just don't know if I can.

We didn't see each other for about 8 months but my daughter and I ran into he and his family at the mall and it wasn't long before we were together again. I've tried to date other men but my heart belongs to him. I don't think I've ever loved a man the way I do him. He's the first man I wished could have children with. I never thought I'd want more kids. I'm not really given to a lot of emotion and no one knows how this affects me but my heart aches.

He tells me he loves me and we have a bond that I don't understand but I'm realistic enough to realize how these things usually work out. He's never asks me to wait but just says he tells himself that I’m being "good." I’ve tried to convince myself he's not worth it and all of that stuff but all of my logic and practicality just doesn't hold up.

I'd very much appreciate your insight into this. The feelings I have for him scare the hell out of me. Am I just another one of those delusional women in a hopeless situation or is it actually possible things could work out? Please help. - Cappy in Love

Answer:
Becky Becktold, Tarot Reader, responds: Dear Cappy - I have shuffled the deck and these are your cards:

Outside Influences - Six of Wands - this card is the "victory after conflict" card. Since it's in the outside influences position, I am picking up that Mr. Virgo is the one who feels he has won the victory - even though he has gone through some conflict, the fact remains that he has his wife - and he has you too.

Emotional State - Page of Swords - this is the "deception" card. As much as you may dispute this fact, you are not getting the truth of the situation from Mr. Virgo. He tells you one thing, but it's not necessarily the truth - he tells you what you want to hear.

Physical State - Nine of Cups - this card says "Yay, you get your wish!" Whatever you’ve got cooking on the 'physical' scene will come to fruition.

Message from Spirit - The Devil - this card represents "blocked energy." You’ve got some major blocks going on - your physical, mental and emotional states are blocked with fear. Cappy, you don't need anyone or anything to make you feel whole and complete - you have what you need inside to reach that level. Mr. Virgo is bad news and only increases the level of blocked energy that you seem to be carrying around. Find yourself a good therapist who you connect with so that you can work through these issues. Don't settle for less than what you deserve in the soul mate department. Once you get to the bottom of how and why he hooks you, you'll be able to move on. Do yourself a favor and make that call. You'll be glad you did.

In Love & Light, BeckyB

  DESPERATE AND DEPRESSED

Question:
Dear Becky ~ I am a young Dutch man and I´m so completely lost in my life that the only reasonable thing I can come up with is killing myself.

I´ve been planning suicide attempts many times (like right now), but then on the last moment I always withdraw, because it simply seems such a wretched thing to do as far as those who remain behind are concerned. And also, as a matter of fact, since I´ve been studying spiritual and paranormal issues for some time, I´ve become very frightened about what one might call The After Life. In particular: meeting already deceased ancestors who might blame me forever for committing suicide.

Yet always after giving up killing myself, my life here becomes even more miserable. I just stay in bed all day and night; crying my eyes out. So, it is only for the sake of "others" that I haven´t done it yet, but purely for myself: I see no potential in living any longer.

Please, please help me...Desperate Dutch

Answer:
Becky Becktold, Tarot Reader, responds: Dear Desperate Dutch ~ I have shuffled the deck and these are your cards:

Outside Influences – Nine of Swords - You have a feeling of despair, but your hands are tied. Even though it feels like it is out of your control, just remember that you need to trust...trust that your struggles are part of your journey, trust in your higher power, and trust that there will be an end to the pain.

Emotional State – Nine of Pentacles - this is the "contentment" card. All your needs are met; you have everything that you need. You will pull yourself out of your depression, Desperate Dutch. If you haven't done so at this reading, you will very shortly. Keep the faith.

Physical State – Hierophant - this is the "counselor" card. If you haven't already, you need to contact a therapist. The time and effort it takes them to help us sort through all the emotional garbage is worth its weight in gold.

Message from Spirit – Seven of Cups – Something is hidden from you; it's there, you just have to look deeper. Also, this card could be about your imagination - either you are using too much of it or not enough. Whatever is hidden will soon be revealed.

In Love & Light, BeckyB

  MARRIED LOVER

Question:
Dear Sharon ~ I am a Pisces currently involved with a Taurus who is married to a Scorpio female. We started out as friends back in December 2003, and got romantically involved in January 2005. His wife found out about the affair in July 2005, and while seeing each other has been difficult, we are still together. He wants to leave her but he doesn't want to leave his son. My question is, is there really a chance of him leaving his wife for me? ~Kay

Answer:
Tarot Reader Sharon Hartley replies: Dear Kay ~ Here's your reading:

Situation - Five of Wands - This card is one of conflict. It's a battle but the winner might want to escape or avoid the certain feelings of hate or bitterness. It shows lots of energy and positive aspects. It's not how you win, but be careful in how you play this one out.

Past - The Star - You may have recently had a long-cherished dream come true. You may have been given a chance to start over and feel hopeful that a situation is looking up. Now is the time to get back to nature -- the basics. What is cluttered or too complicated may clean itself up without your assistance. It's a type of cleansing that helps you see reality in a positive way. It helps with your sign to go for a swim - you'll be surprised how good you feel and intuitively understand.

Think About - King of Wands (reversed) - Tradition is important to your significant other. This situation is making him feel untrue to himself more than you realize. It's making him doubtful, confused and weak. Be aware of this behind the scenes, and you may want to reconsider. If not for you, then for him.

The Future - Three of Stones (reversed) - The work this card represents is not going very well. It indicates that there's a lack of motivation, only doing the bare minimum to get by. Certain commitments are delayed or avoided. It's time for you to decide if this waiting is worth the effort.

Love and Light, Sharon

If you have Tarot questions for Becky or Sharon, address your queries to astroabby@bridgettwalther.com.

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