Question:
Dear Bridgett - I'm having problems getting started and sticking with ANYTHING. I have so many things that need to be done, and I'm just sitting here, watching them pile up like dirty laundry. I feel so BAD about this and don't know what to do. I've been in a funk for months. When will things improve - if ever? I have always been a fiend about hygiene, but have stopped washing my face or brushing my teeth before going to bed - and I'm not sleeping well, either. I'm so afraid of disappointing my parents and friends. They've put so much faith and time into helping me. I'm a total loser. -Tortured Virgo
Answer:
Bridgett responds - Tortured, I totally get what you're saying - and this isn't the first time I've heard this from a Virgo. Here's what I see in your chart: You have Pisces rising and what is called a 'stellium' in your 7th house. This emphasizes others' power, influence, etc, over your life. Instead of being a self-starter, you're a people pleaser. Yet, right now, you're painfully stuck and feel lost and know that you're probably letting others down.
Your first house of self currently has Uranus running backward (with scissors), causing you to feel restless, anxious, insecure, hopeless and oftentimes downright angry. Since this is your life, not one of the planet's, you need to make the decision to 1) stop waiting for permission, directions or approval from others; and 2) start making a simple list of your top five priorities. The easiest way may be to first eliminate tasks or obligations that you feel guilty about but that have almost nothing to do with your future.
Once you've got a priority list in order (remember: don't have more than five things on the list), start with priority number one. Attack it methodically and don't let up until you've mastered the sucker and can proudly say, "done!" Turn off your phone, TV and stop shuffling to the fridge for a snack attack distraction. Once priority number one is complete, pat yourself on the back and attack priority number two with the same dedication, focus and ferocity that helped you finish the first one. Doing things this way - starting, working through the maze of details and frustration, and finishing what you've started - is the best way to rebuild your confidence. I think you've experienced a confidence meltdown that has rendered you almost motionless.
Even though many of us like to think that we can successfully text, drive, drink coffee and converse with a passenger, we really can't do justice to more than one thing at a time. There's nothing wrong with you, Tortured. You've let things go to the point that you're feeling scared, hopeless and worthless. You can restore your confidence during the next six weeks, but you must start taking action today. Seriously, some potent aspects are driving you to bust a move - which is probably the reason you emailed me - and now I'm telling you to follow these steps. You'll get your self-respect and life back one step at a time. P.S.: You need to cut back on your, um, smoking. That's also killing some of your drive. Stay in touch and tell me how you're doing.
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Question:
Dear Bridgett - I have been dealing with an up and down dating relationship with a Libra woman who recently left me. She's now with a 60-year-old man who takes her on shopping sprees. This devastates me. My heart has sunk to my feet.
I have dedicated my life to producing epic romantic feature films. My company has recently put together a script for a well-known big box office film director who is attached to direct the project. I'm excited and thrilled about this, but the woman I love (Libra) was supposed to be part of this experience. I had hoped that she was the one I've been waiting for since my marriage ended in 2000. Every one of my friends has said that she is wrong for me, but I can't seem to let her go. Please tell me what I can or should do. -Jack
Answer:
Bridgett responds - Jack, I believe that you and Lady Libra had an exciting physical connection. You projected your heart and soul onto her, but she was unable to trust you enough (or any man for that matter) to enter her heart. Her heart shut down long ago. In fact, she's learned survival strategies (i.e., don't allow anyone to get too close/don't tell the whole truth/get what you can because nobody really stays together) that all but guarantee that she won't be anyone's mate for long. She's more inclined to view connections with men as opportunities for advancement, enhanced cash flow, or meeting even more successful men. This is her strategy to prevent anyone from getting dangerously close to the person she really is. You cannot crack her code of defense and denial. No one can without her permission.
There is nothing you can do to win her back. Even if she came back, you need to recognize that she's very damaged and undoubtedly would hurt you again. She's not really there for you - or anyone. You created a dream girl that overshadowed the less impressive version of the real girl. She's very good at pretending and always on alert for the next possible moment or opportunity. She views herself as a commodity and knows how to survive in a tough world. Even elderly Mr. Big Bucks won't be able to tame her.
Here's my suggestion to you, Jack. Put all your time and energy into your work. Don't allow the illusion of a great girlfriend that never really existed to take up another minute of your time. Right now, you need to do something that will create success and confidence. Thinking about the loss of this woman (who was never yours to start with) will keep you trapped in a time warp. You'll make yourself sick and lose your creative and business edge by obsessing over the girl.
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